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Among the most dreaded words a spouse can hear are "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." Too often, we get to this point before we start to worry about how to help our marriage to grow and be strong. These words can seemingly come from nowhere or there could possibly be problems in the marriage that you just aren't addressing. Whether there was infidelity or some other example of broken trust in the connection, or there has been abuse, boredom, or any number of other issues, you will need to actively work on saving your marriage to build the healthy, happy relationship that you always wanted it to be. The First Step to Saving Your Marriage: Any marriage has highs and lows that are a normal part of the flow of things. If you move through an extended period of lows, on the other hand, there could possibly be a problem. Until you identify what that problem is, you are not going to have the ability to make it better. In some instances, targeting the issue which is making you fight everyday or that has been hurting one of you is simple. You may be fighting over money or maybe you will be upset that your spouse doesn't appear to have an interest in you physically anymore. For others, the reason for the issues are sometimes less obvious. If you have to receive counseling to figure out what the issues are, then do it. You can't find solutions without knowing the problems. The Second Step to Saving Your Marriage: Once you have identified the problem or problems, you can take a practical approach to making them go away. This is going to require you to sit down and talk calmly and honestly about creating a plan for making things better. This is likely to become more difficult than you expect it to be. Even those problems that seem minor can be very complex once you start working on them. Often that's because your spouse is one who considers it becoming a deal breaker and when things have gotten to the point where you are at risk of losing your relationship, they have peaked. You may have to try and do more than adjust your attitude to be able to begin saving your marriage. For instance, if your wife has delivered the "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" message and she or he may be avoiding any type of intimacy with you for months, you might be confused about what usually are a sudden change in their feelings. When she or he tells you the change in your appearance has completely cooled them off, are you will be willing to commit to getting yourself in shape in order to begin saving your marriage? The challenge can also be something like the truth that they feel rejected by you since you haven't touched them in six months. If he or she has put on an amount of weight or just isn't taking care of themselves and you do not see them in the same way, you need to put your cards on the table as well. With these kind of issues, it is crucial not to be accusatory or point a finger of blame. Use the word "I" as opposed to the word "you". The Third Step to Saving Your Marriage: You should have time to help your marital problems disappear, no matter what they are. Whether you choose to get counseling or work on the problems yourself, it requires time to find solutions on your problems also to heal from the damage that they've already done. Always remember the fact that you're working to alter your marriage and not your spouse. It is the relationship that needs mending and you may both have to work at it and at finding what you admire most in each other so that you can fall in love again.
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Additional tools and resources may also be found for Saving Your Marriage by Don Price from www.savingyourrelationshiptips.com
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